


Hello, Nathan

by captainwithlipstick (johnlockasylum)



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Gen, Humor, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-02-17 11:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2308784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnlockasylum/pseuds/captainwithlipstick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Martin gets stucked into an obnoxious phone call with Simon, Douglas inadvertently inspires Martin's escape plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hello, Nathan

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moriartyshouldseemeinacrown](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moriartyshouldseemeinacrown/gifts).



> seriously though i just wrote this for a friend on tumblr........

"Yeah, Simon." Martin muttered into the phone. "I understand."

"I’m just saying Martin, you aren’t getting any younger-" Simon started, with his noxious air of superiority somehow _oozing_ out of the damned phone speaker.

"Oh really, Simon?" Martin asked in mock wonderment "for a second there I forgot how time worked!" Martin trilled shrilly into the phone. He knew that must’ve sounded truly unpleasant, but _dear god_ Simon is such an ass!

"Hey hey. no need to get snippy! now since you refuse to pick a gender-"

Martin scoffed, “it’s called being bisexual-” _ASSHOLE!_

"Okay, okay" Simon interrupted, remembering Martin infamous ranting abilities, "but could you at least pick out an individual, your inability to settle down at this point is getting ridiculous. And not to sound rude-"

 _But you’ll struggle through_ , Martin nearly growled.

"But your rude co-workers are started to really rub on you…." Martin ears perked up at the suggestion. _Never a bad time to borrow a trick from the Douglas Richardson handbook._

“Oh, actually Simon.” Martin said in his calmest voice, “I am in the process of ‘picking out an individual…”

"Oh?" Simon breathed, caught off guard.

"Yes, yes." Martin answered in a sing-song voice. "His name is Nathan and I have a lunch date...” Martin’s smiled started to crack,”ta-ta-today actually.” _Oh god, what was he thinking?_ He wasn’t Douglas he couldn’t pull this off, _or could he?_ So far Simon was silent, which was a good indicator that he was probably buying it. Martin took a deep breath.

”So,” He hummed, and he let the rest of the sentence poured out quickly “ I really should get going because I still have to get ready, byeeeeee." Martin said before he could lose his nerve. He really was a terrible liar, but at least he could relish hearing Simon’s small voice say "Hey!" as he swiped the disconnect icon.

Martin gently lobbed his phone onto his desk chair and plopped onto the bed, closing his eyes. After a moment he smiled and pulled himself onto the headrest and began to rummage through the nightstand draw. After a second he pulled a smallish sky blue prostate massager and let his smile grow wider. He began to laugh and cheerily said ”Hello, Nathan!”


End file.
